1. batcii:

    "alright alright I’ll take you down"
    "IT’S TOO LATE. MY YOUNG LIFE IS SQUANDERED"

    james learned two things that day; one, a romantic flight around the grounds isn’t actually a great idea for a first date, and two, lily evans was a drama queen of the likes of sirius

    (via wastedcartellife)

  2. alicehopewalker:

    isolatedartisan:

    italyans:

    nasdaq:

    #FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

    this is it.

    THIS IS FUCKING IT.

    AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

    THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

    BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

    NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

    WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

    Tumblr users should never make infomercials

    I think you mean Tumblr users should definitely make infomercials

    (via moriartyhasthephone-box)

  3. nervoushiccup:

    I feel like I, and many other tumblr users, are pretty much experiment 625 from Lilo and Stitch

    image

    he literally has all of the same powers as stitch

    image

    He had potential to do something great. He saw what Stitch and all the other experiments were doing, but he was just like

    hey

    you know what sounds good

    a sandwich

    (via wastedcartellife)

    itsstuckyinmyhead:

    Dog Tumblr Posts

    Want to see more?

    Cat Tumblr Posts

    (via avengecamelotsuperwholock)

  4. the-vashta-nerada:

    • hey bro
    • bro
    • broski
    • brosicle
    • broseidon, god of the brocean
    • brotato chip
    • brotein shake
    • brosef stalin
    • barack brobama
    • teddy brosevelt
    • don quibrote
    • adrien brody
    • gallilebro gallilei
    • napoleon bronaparte
    • brobo cop
    • leonardo dicapribro
    • broseph mengele 
    • bro nye the science guy
    • selena bromez
    • broey deschanel 
    • bro dimaggio
    • wolfgang amadaeus brozart
    • brohemian rhapsody
    • osama bro laden
    • mighty bro young
    • brodo the hobbit bro
    • broprah winfrey 
    • broby dick
    • abroham lincoln
    • what’s up

    (via phxncest)

    edorazzi:

    well it’s about time fred got some character development

    (via mander-charmander)

  5. floralgays:

    "why be straight and cis when u can be queer and tr-"

    hi lets not treat lgbtq+ identities like fashion trends

    (Source: pinkfuneral, via mander-charmander)

    okbelle:

    padfootvioletstilinski:

    When Teachers have the last laugh

    When I was a sophomore, my honors chemistry teacher stapled a mcdonalds app to a kid in my class’ test 😂

    (via stuck-with-monophobia)

  6. madison-theurbanexplorer:

    WE’VE GOT A 2319

    (Source: ramsayc1, via gotmehiddlestoned)

  7. So I just submitted a paper to my English teacher with the title being “Narrative That Will Maybe Get A Good Title Eventually Maybe”

  8. outerspacecake:

    I found someone’s tumblr logged in on this computer and all I did was change the icon

    (via ladyofalake)

    outerspacecake:

    I’m going to be laughing about this for ages

    (via ladyofalake)

    deductiontoseduction:

    lovelightlucid:

    levvilifestories:

    mussinga:

    snark0lepsy:

    The Whitest Kids U’ Know x

    I really spent four years in the states thinking this couldn’t possibly be a real thing but then I graduated and everyone knew the pledge of allegiance PERFECTLY and then I realized how true this gifset really is. If you say something enough as a kid, it’ll never leave you. The thing tho, is that normally, kids know lullabies, and songs. Not a poem about mindless patriotism.

    REBLOGGING FOR ALL THE FUCKING TIMES I GOT IN TROUBLE, MAINLY IN HIGH SCHOOL, FOR NOT SAYING THE WEAK ASS PLEDGE!

    SAME! I used to “baaaaaaa” during the pledge in middle school lol

    in high school one of my teachers told me that if i didnt say the pledge, i had to write him an essay to explain why. The next day i dropped 5 pages of fuck you on his desk in mla format and i never had to say the pledge in that class again

    (via murderthehypotenuse)



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